The summer is winding down my friends, well what we've seen of a summer that is. I swear my legs are just as pasty white as they were 6 months ago and this fact upsets me. It seems to be raining about 180 million percent of the time, the whole city was smothered in a thick layer of garbage until recently and the recession has had me thinking it would be a good idea to take a hammer to my porcelain piggy bank.
Now that it's already August, it pains me to say, we have to start soaking up what little slivers of sun and warmth we can. Fact: Christmas is 4 months away. Double Fact: Winter makes me le sad.
That is why I planned out the most fantastic, jam packed, super fun, no holds bar, kick you heels up long weekend of the summer and just for fun, I made mine go all the way to Tuesday.
Friday: Jezebel Burlesque Night Club
My Company: The Girl Cousins and Grimza
My Drink of Choice: Red Wine, Broken Down Golf Carts and
The Best Part Was: Formally known as Baby Doll's Strip Club and located down a dark alley at Ossington and Dundas W, I decided this was the perfect place to hold Girl's Cousin's Fest. Considering my cousins are just as crazy as I am, I'm flashing back to my eldest cousin doing the worm on stage, I knew no matter where I took them they would have a great time. The DJ was pumping out wicked tunes from the '80s which was fine by us since Madonna played a big part in all of our childhoods. The service was fantastic and the decor was velvity chic not to mention us ladies got front seats for probably the tamest burlesque show in the city.
The Grimza-Meter: 7 Grimzas out of 10
My Company: My Favorite Pisan For Real
My Drink of Choice: Vodka mixed with anything plus a jagger shot here and there
The Best Part Was: The music! I mean we're talking about Caribana weekend my friends. Pisan and I were in love with the winding and grinding to which I said "If we work off enough calories we can get Burrito Boyz later." Highlight of my night? Sitting on the curb, eating an orgasmic Burrito waving to cops on foot, bike, horse, plane, train and automobile. Who said Caribana weekend was dangerous! I only witnessed two police chases and one was on foot. It was practically child’s play.
The Grimza-Meter: 7 Grimzas out of 10
My Company: Everyone I Have Ever Met!
My Drink of Choice: Everything I could grab plus a tequila shot to finish the night...but not by choice
The Best Part Was: Taking over the entire club! If I haven't said it before I will gladly shout it off the rooftops. I have the most amazing and fun friends a girl could ask for. Arriving at 10:30 to a completely empty Levack could not have put a bigger smile on my face. We ripped up the dance floor and thankfully, this time, didn't lose any toes, didn't almost get into a fight, we didn't have any socks thrown off balconies and didn't almost knock over the DJ booth. As per usual, we came, we dance, we drank, we were the last ones to leave.
The Grimza-Meter: 9 Grimzas out of 10
Monday: The Abbey Pub and Steakhouse
My Company: Grimza and Gaylsious
My Drink of Choice: Beer...cheap...out of the bottle
The Best Part Was: The random yelling match between a sketched out tenant and his equally annoying landlord. As Grimza, Gaylsious and I relived the previous night, aka girl talk, and I attempted to choke down some cold and unappetizing French fries, a crazy man began shouting obscenities at his apparent landlords. Between the macho yelling battle and the swarm of killer bees attacking Grimz'a plum sauce, I have determined the sunny walk home was by far the best part of the outing.
The Grimza-Meter: 1 Grimza out of 10 - only because it was hot out
My Company: Grimza
My Drink of Choice: Beer...even cheaper...out of a can
The Best Part Was: I'm literally in le swoooon over this concert. As Grimza put it when the band first hit the stage, she looked dead in my eyes and said "I'm going to loose my shit." She wasn't lying. I think we both lost our shit along with about 5 lbs worth of water weight from jumping in unison with Karen O's raspy voice. We swayed to an acoustic Maps and threw our hands in the sky during Zero. Thank you so much Grimza for letting me into your super Yeah Yeah Yeahs fan club. Thumbs up to fantastic music as well as thumbs down to the jerk that Grimza literally had to kick to back away and the 7 foot tall guy that stood right in front of us the entire night. Besides those two jerks the night capped off the perfect extra long weekend.
The Grimza-Meter: A solid 10 Grimzas out of 10
